It was that split second when I realized you were gone.
I couldn’t understand what was happening.
There you were, lying stiffly on the couch. Eyes shut, hands turning cold.
Hearing the ECG machine flatline broke my heart.
Seeing them drive you away to the mortuary felt surreal.
You did not say goodbye, take care, or I love you.
You just laid in the coffin, looking handsome in your official government attire.
As I sat next your feet, I cried and apologized for all my faults.
You did not say “It’s okay” like you used to.
It was the moment when we cremated you, that I finally realized what was truly happening.
I spent three months after your death in isolation. I went through the five signs of grief.
I DENIED your death.
Then, I was ANGRY because you left me without saying goodbye.
I BARGAINED with God to take me with you.
I was DEPRESSED and lonely without you.
We are nearing your one-year death anniversary (19 December 1938 – 03 January 2020). I have finally reached the final stage: ACCEPTANCE.
Rest in peace, papa. Till we meet again in the eternal realm.
Happy birthday, love you forever.