Irritable and highly anxious,
On edge and easily bothered,
Publicly calm but privately fractious,
Dark humour, emotions well guarded.
Always on the go,
Unable to go slow,
Weary… don’t let it show,
Not even your loved ones know.
Performing your job well,
Wouldn’t want to set off an alarm bell,
Life goes on,
There’s work to be done.
Over or under eating,
Over or hardly sleeping,
Can’t escape from thinking.
Crying when no one’s watching,
Just carry on marching,
Sucking up your tears,
Denying your fears.
Days go by, in fits and starts,
What was once easy, is now very hard,
Facing each day with dread in your heart,
Confiding in no one, lest you lose their regard.
What hardly caused a bother before,
Ends up being a festering sore,
They say depression is inner directed anger,
Feeding the monster’s insatiable hunger.
The monster’s name is “What’s the point?”
She will seduce you with her lies,
Filling you with despair and guilt,
Saying you don’t deserve this happy life.
Self-care gives way to neglect,
Slowly the armour begins to crack,
The darkness within starts to interject,
It’s the cruel beast, ready to attack.
Unable to cry or put up a fight,
Numbed out responses and apathy,
Just wait a while longer, there will be light,
From those who understand, tenderness and empathy.
You may have to fight her every day,
The voice in your head, she aims to sway,
Remember, you’re not alone, come what may,
Don’t give up, don’t slip away…
Convert her into the quiet observer,
In the background, as your teacher,
She can inform you how to be better,
Gentle to yourself and those who are similar.
Some days may be worse than others,
You may never conquer her but she can be tamed,
With proper care, love and kindness,
The beast within can become your friend.
Reshma Stanislaus is a medical doctor who enjoys literature and writing poetry, as well as articles, especially those related to Psychology. She can be contacted at [email protected]